This is going to be one of those annoying, personal, intimate, mushy posts, so, fair warning.
The other night, as I got all snugly cozy in my bed, I realized for the first time in a long time that I'm actually happy with where I am in life right now. It's been a long, long time since I've felt overall content with everything in my life; in fact, I'm not sure I've ever felt this way before.
I know a lot of it has to do with my new med combination. I know a lot of it has to do with so many things working out for me lately (I say that and remember a thousand errands I need to run immediately lest things cease working in my favor). I know a lot of it can be contributed to a lot of things. But I know, more than anything, this victory belongs to Jesus and His grace.
And I know a lot of the grace in my life is the direct result of the intercession of so many friends whose prayers for me are known and unknown. And for that, I am so, so thankful.
Several years ago, as I've briefly alluded to on this blog in previous posts, I was in a very dark and scary place mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually. And I know several people were praying for me. And I know those prayers were what assured me the grace to overcome that period in my life.
Even more recently, in these past two years my anxiety became all but unmanageable, and while I deeply appreciate the friends who held tight and stayed close during some pretty crazy stuff, I even more deeply appreciate their prayers and encouragement in Christ.
My life is good, and my God is a good God to me. I've said that on occasion through the years, but it's rare that I've been able to say it and genuinely mean it, like I do right now.
Satan has been after me lately. I know this. Perhaps I sound crazy, and that's okay, but I'm familiar with spiritual warfare and I know that's what is happening in my life right now. And I know I'll be okay, because I have Jesus and His Holy Spirit providing me the grace and protection I need whenever I desire it and ask for it with a humble heart ready to receive. And so much of that is due to the graces of what I'm sure have been thousands if not millions of prayers for me.
When I've been weak (which is always), when I've been afraid (which is always), when I've been unable (which is always), and even when I've been unwilling, people have prayed for me. And I've needed that and I still need that. It is refreshing and a great blessing when I ask people to pray for me and many of them say, "I already do everyday." I'm glad to have friends who know how weak I am so they know how desperately in need of God I am.
I'm embarrassed I haven't thought of this before, but I'm going to commit to making it a daily priority to say a special prayer "for the people who pray for me." I can never repay you all for the great gift you've given me, but God can, and He will, a thousand times over. May your cup overflow and your days be filled with the radiance of His tender love and mercy.
Thank you so much for being my friends.